I’ll never forget my first year in the classroom. I stood at my door before the first bell, armed with a clipboard containing 17 rules, 3 warnings per student, and absolutely zero idea what I was doing. My mentor teacher, bless her heart, watched me crash and burn for about six weeks before gently suggesting that maybe, just maybe, I needed to tighten things up. Be more authoritarian, she said. Lay down the law before they walk all over you.
I refused.
Not because I thought I knew better (I clearly didn’t), but because something about that approach felt wrong in my bones. I’d spent my entire life loving history because of the stories, the arguments, the messy complexity of human experience. How could I teach that in a classroom where students weren’t allowed to talk?
That was in 2007. Since then, I’ve taught every high school grade level from freshmen who still need hall passes to seniors who can practically smell their own graduation. I’ve been the teacher next door who somehow made it look effortless, and I’ve been the one hiding in the supply closet during my lunch break just to have five minutes of quiet. Through all of it, I’ve learned that finding your right classroom management style isn’t about copying what works for someone else…it’s about understanding the needs of your students while staying true to your own teaching philosophy.
The Moment I Realized My Teaching Style Was Broken (But Not for the Reasons I Thought)
It was October of my second year, and I was teaching ninth-grade World History. I had rejected the authoritarian model, but I hadn’t replaced it with anything coherent. I wanted my classroom to feel like a college seminar…passionate discussions, debated interpretations, students genuinely excited about the material. I envisioned them leaning forward in their seats, arguing about content with passion.
Instead, I had 34 freshmen who treated my classroom like a study hall for their math test next period. I’d stand at the front, clicking through PowerPoint slides filled with dates and names and terms they’d need to memorize, and they’d sit there with that glazed-over look I’d come to dread. Student engagement was plummeting. Disruptive behavior was actually increasing because I was so focused on feeding them information that I’d forgotten to establish any real structure (because, spoiler alert, it’s not about the content!).
During a particularly rough lesson on the French Revolution (I was on slide 47 of a 62-slide deck, and I could feel the energy in the room dying by the minute), a usually quiet girl named Jasmine raised her hand. I called on her, grateful for any interaction at all.
“Can you just tell us what we need to know for the test?”
That question stopped me cold.
Not because it was disrespectful…it wasn’t. It was honest. Jasmine was telling me exactly what my teaching had communicated to her: that history was a collection of facts to be memorized and regurgitated, not a living, breathing subject worth arguing about. She wasn’t being difficult; she was adapting to the environment I’d created.
I realized I’d been so focused on avoiding the authoritarian trap that I’d swung too far in the opposite direction. Classroom management isn’t about choosing between control and chaos…it’s about finding the balance that actually serves your students. Jasmine wasn’t telling me she wanted more rules. She was telling me she wanted clarity, structure, and someone willing to be the adult in the room. She wanted to know why any of this mattered. I just hadn’t been listening.
Understanding the Different Classroom Management Styles That Actually Exist
Over the next several years, I made it my mission to understand the types of classroom management styles that researchers have identified and, more importantly, how they actually play out in real high school classrooms with real kids.
The research generally points to four common classroom management styles, and I’ve personally experienced three of them:
Authoritarian teachers operate from a place of complete control. They establish classroom rules and expect unquestioning obedience. Consequences are clear and consistently enforced, but there’s minimal room for flexibility or student input. I’ve watched brilliant authoritarian teachers maintain order beautifully, but I’ve also seen them struggle to connect with students on a personal level. The authoritarian classroom management style can work, particularly with younger students or in situations where safety is a primary concern, but in my experience teaching high school, it often comes at the cost of those deeper positive relationships that make history come alive. Simply put, this will not be effective once Generation Alpha understands free will.
On the opposite end, you have the permissive style. Permissive teachers are warm and caring, sometimes to a fault. They prioritize positive relationships above all else, but often struggle to establish clear expectations. Permissive classrooms feel friendly and relaxed, but they can quickly descend into chaos because unclear expectations leave students guessing about boundaries, and if we know anything about kids, they will skate the line every chance they get. These teachers genuinely love their students, but they often find themselves exhausted from constantly negotiating instead of teaching. This is much like confusing Gentle Parenting with Permissive Parenting...it’s not the same and often has the opposite outcome that you’re looking for.
Then there’s the indulgent style (sometimes called permissive-indulgent), where indulgent teachers have high levels of warmth but low levels of control. I watched a first-year teacher down the hall try this approach. She wanted so badly for her students to feel seen and heard that she avoided any confrontation. By October, she had students walking out of class whenever they felt like it. She was burned out, and her students weren’t learning because the structured learning environment they needed simply didn’t exist.
Finally, there’s the authoritative style…and this is where the magic happens. Authoritative teachers balance firm expectations with genuine warmth and support. They establish clear classroom expectations but remain flexible enough to respond to different situations. They hold students accountable while also honoring student autonomy. When I finally landed on an authoritative classroom management approach, everything shifted. (And THIS is the equivalent of Gentle Parenting in the classroom).
What the Authoritative Classroom Management Style Looks Like in a History Classroom
Let me give you a concrete example from my own classroom. I had a student named James who was struggling with disruptive behavior during our unit on Reconstruction. Every time we got into a class discussion, he’d make sarcastic comments, talk over peers, or just check out completely. An authoritarian approach might have meant immediately removing him from the room or writing him up. A permissive approach might have meant ignoring the behavior to avoid conflict.
Instead, I pulled him aside after class and simply asked what was going on. It turned out he was frustrated because he felt like the textbook narrative didn’t match what his grandmother had told him about her family’s history during that era. His “disruptions” were actually attempts to bring in perspectives he felt were being ignored…they just weren’t landing well.
Together, we worked out a solution. We agreed that he could raise a specific signal when he wanted to offer a counter-perspective, and I started building in more structured opportunities for students to question the historical narrative. His student engagement skyrocketed, and the “disruptive” behaviors disappeared completely. More importantly, he ended up writing his research paper on Reconstruction-era primary sources from his own family’s archives.
This is what the authoritative classroom management style looks like in action. It’s not about having complete control or being the “cool teacher.” It’s about maintaining high expectations while responding to the individual needs of your students. It’s about building mutual respect rather than demanding obedience.
Why Your Teaching Style Matters More Than Your Rules
After teaching over 1700 students in my own classroom and now working with teachers from all levels of education, I can tell you with confidence that your teacher’s classroom management style matters far more than any specific set of rules or consequences. I’ve seen teachers with virtually no formal classroom management plan create incredible learning experiences simply because they understood how to connect with kids. I’ve also watched teachers with beautifully crafted systems fail because they never built the foundational relationships those systems depended on.
This became painfully clear during the 2020 school year, when everything we thought we knew about teaching got turned upside down. Carefully established routines for Socratic seminars and document analysis meant nothing when students were learning from kitchen tables and bedroom floors. The only thing that carried so many teachers that I had already worked with through this time (and kept their students engaged) was the positive relationships they’d built before the crisis.
When many transitioned back to in-person teaching, they had to completely rebuild their approach. The students who came back were different…they carried trauma, disconnection, and in some cases, a complete lack of confidence in themselves as learners. Old classroom management techniques didn’t work anymore because the students themselves had changed. The teachers who are still struggling are trying to teach to a pre-COVID classroom that wasn’t completely bogged down by the Student Apathy Crisis, and that simply does not work anymore.
Practical Strategies That Actually Work in High School
Here’s what I’ve learned works, whether you’re a new teacher just starting your teaching career or a veteran looking to refresh your approach:
Start with relationships before rules, and I’m not talking about the cliche administrator, “Have you tried building a relationship?” question that they throw out there without even knowing what they’re asking. During the first week of school, don’t even hand out the classroom expectations document until day three. Spend those first days doing low-stakes activities that help learn their names, their interests, and what makes them tick. Ask about their weekends and actually listen to the answers.
This isn’t wasted instructional time…it’s an investment that pays dividends all year long.
Involve students in creating classroom norms. Instead of presenting a list of rules, ask: “What kind of classroom environment would help you learn best?” They consistently come up with better ideas than you would have imposed, sometimes even between classes. One year, my juniors suggested that we establish a protocol for open communication when someone feels unheard in a discussion about controversial historical topics. That never would have occurred to me, but it became one of our most valuable tools.
Respond to behaviors, not students. When a student acts out, I learned to separate the behavior from the person (which sometimes is really hard). Instead of saying “You’re being disruptive,” say “That behavior is disrupting our learning process right now. What’s going on?” This small language shift preserves the relationship while still addressing the issue.
Build in student autonomy wherever possible. Even within a structured learning environment, students need opportunities to make choices. I would offer options for research topics, flexible seating during independent work, and opportunities for students to lead small groups or facilitate discussions about primary sources. When students feel some control over their learning, student engagement naturally increases.
Use positive reinforcement strategically. I’m not talking about treasure chests or pizza parties. I mean specific, authentic acknowledgment of positive behavior. When I would notice a student who usually struggles with staying focused, actually working through an entire document analysis, I would pull them aside after class and say exactly what I observed. “I noticed you stayed focused for the whole independent work period today. That was impressive concentration.” This kind of specific feedback builds intrinsic motivation in ways that generic praise never can.
What I Wish Someone Had Told Me as a New Teacher
If I could go back and talk to my first-year self, here’s what I would say:
Your classroom management style isn’t something you figure out once and then lock in forever. It evolves constantly as you encounter different situations, different groups of students, and different challenges. The teacher you are with your high school seniors is not the same teacher you would have been with freshmen ten years ago, and that’s exactly how it should be.
New teachers especially need permission to experiment. Your first classroom management plan will probably fail in some spectacular ways. Mine did. That’s not a sign that you’re a bad teacher…it’s evidence that you’re learning. Every failed strategy teaches you something about what your students actually need.
Also, understand that different classroom management approaches work for different situations. The strategies I use during a lively debate about causation in World War I look completely different from what I use during quiet document analysis. The way I support students with behavioral challenges is different from how I work with students who are already self-directed. Flexibility isn’t inconsistency…it’s responsiveness.
The Truth About “Best” Classroom Management Styles
You’ll find plenty of articles claiming to identify the best classroom management style once and for all. Here’s my honest take after all these years: the best classroom management style is the one that allows you to be your most effective self while meeting the needs of your students.
For me, that’s the authoritative approach. It aligns with my teaching philosophy that students learn history best when they feel both supported and challenged to think critically. It allows me to maintain high expectations while honoring the individual needs of each student. It creates space for positive reinforcement without ignoring disruptive behavior. It supports student learning without sacrificing structure entirely.
But I’ve also seen brilliant teachers make other styles work. I know an incredible teacher who runs a more structured classroom than I could ever manage, and his students thrive because his approach matches his personality and their needs. I’ve watched a colleague use what looks like a permissive style with struggling students, slowly building trust until they’re ready to engage with more rigorous content.
The key isn’t finding the “right” style according to some textbook…it’s understanding yourself, understanding your students, and being willing to adjust constantly.
Building Your Unique Approach Over Time
Here’s what I want you to take away from this: your unique approach to classroom management will develop over years, not days. It will be shaped by your successes and your spectacular failures. It will evolve as you move between courses, as educational research advances, and as each new group of students teaches you something unexpected.
And you will still make mistakes. I recall handling a situation poorly with a student who was clearly having a bad day during our lesson on the Civil Rights Movement, and I had to apologize the next morning and try to repair the damage. The difference is having the experience and confidence to recognize when you’ve missed the mark and the relationship capital to recover from it.
Digging in your heels deeper and placing all blame on someone whose frontal lobe will not be fully formed for some time still is not it.
Building relationships takes time, but it saves time in the long run. When students know you genuinely care about them, they’re more likely to give you the benefit of the doubt when things get messy. They’re more likely to meet your high expectations because they know those expectations come from a place of genuine investment in their success.
A Final Thought on What Really Matters
At the end of the day, all the research on classroom management styles, all the professional development workshops, and all the advice from veteran teachers boils down to something pretty simple: students need to know you see them, you hear them, and you believe in their ability to succeed. Especially today.
The authoritative classroom management style worked for me because it keeps that truth front and center. It reminds me that my job isn’t to control students…it’s to create conditions where they can learn to control themselves. It acknowledges that student behavior is often communication, and my first job is to figure out what they’re trying to tell me. It remembers that mastery is way more important than compliance.
Whether you’re just starting your teaching career or you’re twenty years in and feeling stuck, I hope you’ll give yourself permission to experiment, to fail, and to keep growing. The students in front of you don’t need a perfect teacher. They need a real one…someone willing to build positive relationships, adapt to their needs, and show up every day ready to try again.
That’s not just good classroom management. That’s good teaching.
-With love from a veteran teacher who’s tried it all…the strict approach, the friend approach, and everything in between.
This article was originally published on September 9, 2021.